Ways to improve your introduction

In your introduction always start with the "big things" and slowly move into the specifics.
eg. Camping- Bringing Food would be one of the big things. Whereas the specifics would be bread and butter and marshmallows...etc.

In Stefan's example:
-> Instead of saying that Hillary Clinton's use of personal pronouns creates a sense of unity he should say that her use of rhetorical devices(big idea-general), which the personal pronouns are a part of, create a sense of unity. Then give an example from the speech."Now, it's our turn to stand in solidarity with France and all of our friends."